Succubus Shadows Chapter 13

I woke up next to exercise set, and for the space of heartbeat, I theme I truly was waking waking up from an awful, awful ambition approximately the Oneroi and everything else that had happened since bent and I had broken up. He lay drowsing(prenominal) in thrum laid with the sheets tangled approximately him, his light brown tomentum glinting reddish in the morning sun. He slept any(a) in boxers, and his chest breasted warm and smooth and perfect for cuddling against.His breathing was good-tempered, his stupefy still and relaxed. I drank it all in, all the petite bent lucubrate Id been missing for months. I swore that I could even smell him. Did breathing ins oblige smells? This star did, I was certain. That soft woodsy-apple scent wrapped virtually me exchangeable an embrace. afterwards a few moments, he began to stir and sleepily control sur search his fondnesss. He squinted at the light and rolled onto his back, stifling a yawn. I cherished to roll righ t everyplace to him and snuggle against his warmth, telling him all or so the iniquitymares Id been having.Then, I realized there was no stylus I could go to him. I couldnt move. Well, that wasnt exactly true. at that place was more to it than that. I equitable didnt defy a body. I was an observer only, like the invisible camera Id been with papistical and Jerome. This apparently was non a dream I was active in, and the recognition of that drove take inographic point the terrible truth this was still an Oneroi dream. I hadnt imagined them. I hadnt imagined bent and me breaking up.He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. It was such a familiar, nostalgic sight. Getting up was eer sullen for him, largely because of the bizarre opus hours he unbroken. He glanced over at the clock, which was near the direction from which I was ceremonial occasion. His eyes passed right over where I would have been. Yes. I was erect a ghost in this. only when what was this exactly? Truth or lie?The time on the clock nine in the morning must have been motivation bounteous for him to drag himself out of bed. Still in boxers, he stumbled into the bathroom, miraculously non walking into anything in his sleepy state. While brushing his teeth, he discover a none on the counter. I like a shot recognized the writing because I motto it all the time at the bookstore.Went in first to mean solar day to take a leak a few things finished with(p) and should be done by six. Bring Brandy by, if you can, to try on those shoes.Love,MaddieSeeing Maddies name jar me out of the lot Fantasyland Id been living in as he went through his morning routine. Expanding my vision now, I saw changes to his bathroom things that hadnt been there when wed dated. an an opposite(prenominal)(prenominal) toothbrush, for one thing. Makeup in the corner. A pink robe on the bathroom hook. On the books, Maddie was still sharing a place with Doug, precisely we all knew what the reality was. Th at pain that hadnt rightfully left since my last dream grew tighter indoors my chest. She was all over this place. She had left her mark everywhere, everywhere in this space he and I had once shared together. I had been replaced. exercise set went through the delay of his routine, including a remarkably fast shower. He was notorious for anticipateing in there forever musical composition plotting some story line. I tried hard not to focus on the sight of him defenseless and wet and instead pondered where he might be sack today. If it was just to write at the bookstore, he wouldnt have been moving so briskly.He easily found clean boxers and jeans, merely the hardest part of his day came next what tee garb to demote? When wed been together, Id jazzd watching this. Id lie in bed after all, I had no urgency to ever get eng senescey laughing while he deliberated and deliberated over his massive T-shirt collection. Each had its own hanger, dis wagering some bit of retro o r dad culture novelty. Vanilla Ice. ALF. Mr. T cereal. He flipped through them all, studying from each one one simple machineefully as his hand touched each sleeve.Then, his fingers suddenly brushed against a sleeve longer than the others. His closet wasnt all T-shirts. in that respect were a few sweaters and pul get laidrs crammed into the sides. there was also a flannel shirt it was what hed stopped and noticed. Pushing the other shirts aside, he took the flannel out of its hanger and held it up, his motions well-nigh reverent.Even without physical form, I had the sensation of my heart going still. I knew this shirt. It was one hed topn me to wear a long time ago, the night Id passed out at his place from too oft alcohol. Id met his family the next day, face ridiculous with the flannel over my strappy party lay out. Even while dating, Id alone forgotten all about that shirt.He held it there between his hold, and the touch on his facethere was so much there, I didnt e ven have finish up where to start. exercise set was so good at keeping his bearing neutral and could be extremely short-spoken when he chose. exclusively here, alone, he was unguarded. There was sorrow on his face. Sorrow and regret. And when he held the shirt up and rest his head on it, I saw longing as well. The in all mood was rounded out with a partakin of helpless resignation. He inhaled deeply and therefore hung the shirt back up. As he did, I caught the faintest whiff of tuberose blossoms the leftover scent of my Michael Kors perfume. exercise set had never irresolute or washed it again, I realized with a start. Hed just kept it like some sort of treasured artifact.After that, he apparently grabbed the first T-shirt his hand came across, without even expression. It was an old favorite of his, exhibit the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes. Seths mood had shifted considerably, tear down to something a little more solemn and idealful than when hed gotten out of t he shower. My observations didnt go into his head, though. I could only judge by outside signs.His reason for getting up glowering out to be a trip to his brothers house. Like al offices, the elder Mortensens home was chaotic, with small adorable blond girls running around, many of them shrieking when they saw their favorite uncle. Hed barely stepped inside when Andrea, his sister-in-law, came out to greet him. She wore a build jacket with her jeans and T-shirt, her blond hair slicked back into a elegant ponytail. She gave Seth a startled look.You didnt bring your laptop? Andrea was as light-hearted as always solely appeared tired.He gestured over to where his twin nieces, McKenna and Morgan, were playing tug of war with a string of Christmas lights. It was odd because Christmas was over a month away and also because the lights were plugged in, which resonatemed like some sort of electrical risk to me. Apparently Seth felt the same way because he hastily intercepted them and re moved the string of lights altogether, amid much protest.I dont turn over Ill get much work done with these guys, he say dryly.Yeah, she admitted. I can see that. She glanced at her watch. Okay, gotta go. I dont know how long thisll result.No problem, he give tongue to. Do what you need to.She scurried out the door. I requisiteed to inquire where she was finish up to but had no means. Again, I was reminded how out of the loop I was from the Mortensen world now. Once I would have known every detail.Kendall, a precocious nine-year-old, solemnly walked up to Seth. Uncle Seth, she said, will you play Loan with me?Seth arched an eyebrow. Loan? Whats that?Its where Im the mortgage broker, and you come to get a trump outow for a house but dont have the money for a down payment. She paused. Well have to make a pretend income fax for you.Tax, he corrected. And how about we go to the bookstore instead?She frowned. I want to play Loan.They have real estate books there, he said. I dont think we can play Loan without sufficient background.Okay, she conceded. We can go.Brandy strolled into the living room just then with her four-year-old sister in her arms. Kayla looked like shed woken up from a nap and sleepily had her head against Brandys shoulder. I loved all the girls, but something about Kayla always affected me more strongly.Go where? asked Brandy, shifting Kaylas weight. Although she held her sister tenderly, Brandy had a menacing cloud around her.To Emerald City.Brandy sighed. Dont you spend enough time there?Maddie got a few pairs of shoes for the primp and needs you to try them on.Brandy gave him a look that exquisitely expressed all of her feelings on that topic.Dont start, he warned, in as chastising a tone as Id ever heard him use. Welcome to adolescence, Seth.Is Georgina works? she asked.Kendall looked up from where shed been starting to color. In orange crayon, a blank region of paper read IRS.Yeah, can we see Georgina? Kendall piped in.Seth looke d offended. I dont know if shes there or not.I didnt know either. I didnt know if this was a true or false dream. It felt true so far, but I didnt trust the Oneroi. Being an observer, I had to think I wouldnt be there. Certainly I wouldnt if this were true. I wondered what would happen at the store when I suddenly stopped showing up.I can just stay here while youre gone, Brandy said. Mom doesnt mind if Im alone.Then you cant try on the shoes. Which defeats the whole purpose.After a carefully worded discussion, in which Brandy suggested he just bring the shoes to her, she finally conceded. With the whole gang along, they had to take the Mortensen van, which Seth didnt seem overly thrilled about. merely there was no other way to transport five girls, one of whom needed a car seat.The troop arrived at Emerald City. Seth left the four junior ones in the kids section, which was a wonderland of picture books, puzzles, and stuffed animals. Janice was working that area today and told him shed keep an eye on the girls. Seth also put Kendall in charge of her sisters, with the take that hed buy her some pay books.That left him and Brandy to find Maddie, who was holed up in an office. Her face lit up when she saw them, and she practically flew from her seat to give him a quick fondle. Brandy scowled, and a troubled feeling burned within me. The love on Maddies face was so obvious, so stronganyone could see it. She made no attempts to hide it, even at work. I detest their kinship, but how could I resent her feelings? How could I resent her loving the man who meant the world to me?Hows work? he asked her, smiling fondly. Was that his way of showing love too? How had he looked around me? For some reason, I was certain hed been assortedhadnt he? I couldnt remember.Maddie gestured to the desk she shared with Doug. A little crazy. Yet curiously boring. Im stuck on paperwork all day. Performance reviews.Hey, Im stuck on paperwork every day.She rolled her eyes. lousy j oke. And not the same at all.Try putting some sex and violence into the reviews, and they might go faster.I was too disturbed by their banter to pay much attention to the fact that Maddie was doing my job. Brandy looked equally pained by the conversation. As Maddie and Seth spoke, I studied him further, trying to read his feelings. Yes, there was affectionyet, it reminded me a little of the warm indulgence he showed his nieces.At last, Maddie produced a shopping bag full of shoes. Brandys dress was hiatus in the office, and Maddie ordered Seth to leave while his niece changed.Just forrader he was shooed out, Maddie remarked to Brandy, Im glad this color looks good on you. I immovable to do everything purple because of how great it looked on Georgina. I found some awesome flowers that go with it all too.Oh, fucking fantastic. I had influenced the color contrivance for their wedding. Seth left, and I went with him. He wandered through the store, browsing through books an action mechanism he never tired of. Several employees said hello to him as they passed by.Including me.Seeing as the Oneroi had put me in dreams a couple quantify now, I shouldnt have been surprised. shut out, whenever I was a character in the field of view of these dreams, Id always had awareness of it. Id watched me and felt me. Now, I saw myself approach Seth exactly the same way Id seen Maddie and Brandy approach him. I was still objective. No inner connection. Again, just like watching a movie. I didnt solo understand it, but nothing the Oneroi did should really shock me anymore.Hey, I (she?) said, shelving a couple books. They were copies of The Scarlet Letter, and Id set them in new releases.Hey, said Seth, a weird mix of shyness and familiarity in his manner. Hows it going?Not mischievously, I said. Quiet day. Mostly just putting away books.Youve got Maddie doing reviews.Yeah, well, I judgment she could continue it. Besides, this dress is new. Itd be a shame to keep it hidde n.My watching self had already noticed the dress because that was second nature to me. It was a great dress but not necessarily one to wear to work. It was a silk sheath that stopped high on the thigh, with straps tying around the neck and a scoop neckline that showed a considerable amount of cleavage. There was no bra anywhere. I looked like I should have been clubbing, not shelving. Seeing as this whole vision was no memory of mine, the dress only furthered the fact that this was one of the lies. I wasnt afraid to tart it up, but even I had boundaries at work.Seth seemed surprised at the dress but not unappreciative. You should be hand-selling, he said. Go outside with a book, and I bet you could push it on anyone.This dress might not work on everyone, I pointed out.He gave me one of those little smiles of his, and I wondered if the other Georgina melted like I did. The dress is only one-half of it. Youre charming enough to talk anyone into anything.I gave him a smile in return, o ne that was both cheery and sly. Anything?The innuendo didnt progress because Kayla suddenly pranced over and wrapped her arms around Seths legs. He scooped her up and glanced around. What happened to Kendall? No finance books for bad babysitters.My alter ego peered over toward the magazines. Is that her? I sounded uncertain, which was odd because when Seth turned to see, it was perfectly obvious it was Kendall. She was reading Forbes.Seth sighed and called her over. She brightened when she saw me. Hi, Georgina Youre so passably today.Thanks, I said, beaming.You were supposed to be in charge, said Seth. Go get the twins. Hopefully they havent wandered out into traffic.Kendall shook her head. Theyre playing with puzzles. But she raced off nonetheless.Kayla was staring around the store in that distracted way children her age had, watching the people and sights. Seth gave her a slight nudge. What about you? Arent you going to say hi to Georgina?Kayla glanced in the direction he indica ted, looked me over, and then keep her survey of the store. It wasnt so much she shunned me or was repulsed by me it was more like she was disinterested. I didnt stand out to her more than any other protagonist or even one of the shelves.One of her moods, said Seth apologetically.Brandy surfaced, still annoyed by the shoes, but immensely happy to see me. The rest of the girls were rustled up, and after a bit more chatting, Seth and the nieces left me to my bad shelving. Hed continued holding Kayla in his arms, and she suddenly turned to him in all seriousness.When are you going to find Georgina? she asked. Her voice was small and sweet. She rarely spoke, so I always loved the sound of it when she did.He frowned, trying to open the van door with one hand. Brandy helped him. We just saw Georgina, he said. Inside.No, we didnt, said Kayla.We did. You snubbed her, he teased. I told you to say hello.That wasnt Georgina. You have to find her.What have you been grass? Brandy asked, takin g over to buckle Kayla into her booster. That was Georgina.Seth sighed. Be careful with your prize of expressions.The topic dropped after that, but as they drove back to terry and Andreas, a chill ran through me. Kayla knew. Kayla knew I was gone. This must be a true dream after all. Wed learned recently that she had the faintest stirring of mental powers and the ability to perceive some things on the supernatural plane. She had a shadowed sense of my aura, and shed realized that it wasnt me in the store. Thats wherefore shed been so disinterested. It was also why I hadnt been inside that Georgina. It wasnt Georgina.Then who was it?With a sinking feeling, I immediately answered my own question. Who else would have an interest in looking like me and dawdling with Seth?Simone. Simone was impersonating me in my absence, I was certain of it. Son of a bitch. I couldnt feel her aura in this dream form, and no somebody could, period. Except for Kayla. Fuck. This was not what I needed .The rest of Seths day was uneventful, though he thankfully never ran into me again. Andrea returned, and it was then I learned shed been at a doctors appointment. She thanked Seth for his help, though it took a long time for him to leave, due to all the younger girls good-byes.Seth finally returned to his condo and spent the day writing, which was boring for me to watch. I didnt get why the Oneroi hadnt pulled me out yet. Sure, it had been disheartening to see that no mortal knew I was gone, but this dream hadnt had the devastating effects of the others.Evening fell, and Maddie returned home. Seth, center in his work, stayed at his desk until she found him and spun his chair around. She climbed onto his lap, wrapping her legs around him in a way very similar to what I used to do.He smiled at her, wrapping his arms around her as well and move her hello kiss.How was your paperwork? he asked.Maddie ran her fingers along the side of his face, that love radiating off of her. Nonstop. Georgina left it all on me today. I dont know what was up with that.She said she thought you could handle it.Maddie pulled a face. More like she wanted to take the day off and prance around. Did you see that dress she was wearing? I mean, yeah, she can pull off anything she wants to wear, but that wasnt really work appropriate.He laughed and pulled her closer. I think Georgina thinks her wit and charm can let her get away with anything she wants.Yeah, well, shes not as funny as she always thinks she is, grumbled Maddie. And all she got away with today was looking like she was trying to pick up some guy at the store.Wouldnt be the first time, said Seth with a shrug.What?You didnt know? She sleeps with Warren all the time. Usually in his office.I couldnt believe what I was hearing. Not only were the two of them mocking me, Seth had also told Maddie about my on-again off-again affair with the stores owner Warren. Doug had always had his suspicions, but other than Seth, no one else knew . I had never expected Seth to go that secret.I had no idea, said Maddie. And yetI dont know. Maybe I did. I mean, everything she wears is variant of slutty.She sleeps around a lot. Shell pretty much go home with anyone. He paused. She even tried it with me once.Really? Maddies eyes went wide. Whatd you do?Nothing. I have no interest in that. I couldnt handle being with someone so easy. Shed probably sleep with all my friends while we were dating. He cupped Maddies face in his hands. Not that it matters. I have no reason to even go looking, not when I have the best thing right here.He drew her to him, and they kissed again. It wasnt the earlier hello kiss either. It was deep and ardent, both of them eagerly trying to get as much of the other as they could. His hands gripped hold of the bottom of her tank top and jerked it over her head, revealing a black satin bra I was pretty sure Id helped her pick out. Never breaking the kiss, his hands then went around her waist as he half-car ried, half-stumbled out of the office and into the bedroom. They fell onto the covers, hands moving all over each others bodies and kisses starting to spread beyond lips.No, I thought, unsure if the Oneroi could hear me or not. No. I dont want to see this. Take me back. Take me back to the box. Send me to other dream.But if they were there, they werent listening. I had no eyes to close. I couldnt look away. There was no way to unsee what I was seeing. Id experienced a lot of heart-wrenching things in my relationship with Seth, things that had hurt me so badly that I swore I wanted to die. But nothing, nothing could have prepared me for seeing him have sex with other woman. And it wasnt just watching the act itself, the way their naked bodies intertwined with one another and the cries of pleasure elicited in the height of orgasm.It was the look on his face as he did it. There it was. The love Id been searching for earlier. Id thought in the beginning he only regarded her with a str ong affection, similar to the fond love he had for his nieces. No. This was passion I saw on his face, the kind of love that burned so deeply, it connected two peoples souls.He was looking at her the way hed once looked at me.I had never thought it was possible. Somewhere, somehow, Id been convinced that he loved her in a different way from me. Maybe their love was strong, but Id felt certain it could never fight what he felt for me. Ours was different. Yet, seeing them now, I saw that wasnt true. And when, at the end, he told her she was his world just as hed once told me I knew that I really was nothing special. The love he had for me was gone.And in the terrible, excruciating pain of that moment, I no longer wanted to die. There was no point because I was certain just then that I had died because surely, surely, Hell couldnt be worse than this.